Girlfriends’ Guide to Divorce Recap: Rule #92: Don’t Do the Crime If You Can’t Do the Time

By Rachel Cruz | 2 years ago
Girlfriends’ Guide to Divorce Recap: Rule #92: Don’t Do the Crime If You Can’t Do the Time

Girlfriends’ Guide to Divorce” Season 1 Episode 12 “Rule #92: Don’t Do the Crime If You Can’t Do the Time” aired on Tuesday, Feb. 17, 2015 at 9:00 p.m. on Bravo. The divorce between Abby and Jake is almost final. Meanwhile, past relationships haunt Phoebe and Delia’s current state. Find out what happened in the recap below.

Jo (Alana Ubach) is organizing items for the fundraising at the school in the hopes of getting on the good side of the mothers now that Zoey has been accepted. The items are all over Abby’s (Lisa Edelstein) living room. Then, they spot a cute hamburger phone, which was actually used as a prop in the movie “Juno.” The item is pegged at $1,000 and would be considered as a winning ticket in the fund-raiser. The moms of the kids are definitely going to go for it.


The theme for the event is “Orange is the New Black” and guests are encouraged to come either as a good guy or a bad guy. Phoebe (Beau Garret) invites Marco (Brandon Jay McLaren) as her date. He thinks it is crazy how white people think a prison theme could be a good idea for a party. He receives a $2,000 suit that Phoebe asks him to wear for the event. Marco, who had it pretty well in life when he was younger despite his race and color, isn’t impressed so he decided to go as himself to the event. Meanwhile, Phoebe dresses up as Uma Thurman from the movie franchise “Kill Bill.”

Abby, on the other hand, is coming as Bonnie from “Bonnie and Clyde.” Her boyfriend Will (Warren Christie) is Clyde, of course, but a flight delay in India has dampened their plans. So, Abby is going alone at the fund-raiser, without her Clyde.

Meanwhile, the women drop off their item donations at the school. Phoebe spots Cory, a woman photographer carrying a portrait. It’s of a naked lady with her face hidden. Phoebe’s attitude changes when Cory greets her, leaving Abby to wonder.

Abby, on the other hand, sees that her ex-husband Jake (Paul Adelstein) is hired by the school to do this year’s videos for the event. Last year, Ben Affleck apparently did it. They chit-chat for a while and agree to set whatever issues they had during Thanksgiving (in the episode “Rule #46: Keep the Holidays Low Key” air date: Feb. 10, 2015). They’re not going to fight on this fundraiser.

Abby meets with Delia (Necar Zadegan) to discuss the finality of her divorce with Jake. It’s happening! But first, Delia tells Abby if she would like to reconsider the alimony payment for Jake. Since he’s making money now than he’s ever made during his marriage to Abby, perhaps she can reduce this amount. But Abby no longer wants any complications with her ex. Delia, however, is giving her good advice.

During the meeting with Jake and his lawyer, Delia brings up this matter and Abby acts as if she really has nothing to do with taking alimony payments off the table. Jake says he’s fine with the new arrangement but enumerates the other terms he wants. Suddenly, Abby speaks out about summer camp and other things she’s demanding, too. Just when the divorce settlement finally comes to a close, this hitch crops up and ruins everything for everyone. Or maybe, Abby just isn’t ready to move on?

Delia isn’t going to be at the fundraiser because she has issues to settle with Gordon Beech, who has left his business with her firm. She had been counting on him to seal her partnership. Now that he’s no longer employing them as lawyers, she might not make the cut. Of course, viewers know why Gordon left. It’s because his romantic relationship with Delia turned sour. It has nothing to do with her being his very capable divorce attorney. But Delia’s boss doesn’t know that, and so, he arranges for a dinner with Gordon to convince him to stay.

So, Delia, Gordon, and Delia’s boss are having dinner, but Mr. Beech is still unconvinced about keeping his business with them. He thanks them and leaves the restaurant, whereby Delia follows him outside. Short of crying on the street, Gordon still says no. But the guy’s not being an ass. It looks like he really cared for her and got hurt big time when she rejected him.

Meanwhile, it’s the final preparations at the fundraiser. Jo’s attention is called by one of the mothers who tells her that the hamburger phone is missing from the items on her list. Too bad, a lot of moms are really looking forward to bidding on this. So, where did the phone go? Jo checks every nook and cranny at Abby’s house to make sure she’s not losing her mind. The phone still doesn’t turn up, so on the night of the event, they make some silly excuse about why it’s not there anymore.


Phoebe sees the photograph of the naked lady being auctioned off and she’s waiting to get her hands on this. She desperate pays $10,000 for it, which boggles Marco. Why would she do this? Because the naked lady is her, taken during that time when she modeled for the photographer at 14 years old, when she moved away from her drug addicted parents. But she doesn’t tell Marco this, but instead decided they should break up. She only tells him that there are so many things about her that may disappoint Marco. He’s already having problems with the way she spends her money. That night, in her house, Phoebe burns the photograph she bought at the auction.

Meanwhile, Abby is on a bidding war with this other mom. They’re both eyeing this lovely diamond necklace. She thinks she deserves to have after all that she’s been through these past few months. During Jake’s presentation of the video, Abby completely loses it when she watches their son declare to the world that his favorite person is his mom. She excuses herself outside to cry. This divorce has gotten to her once again. Jake follows her but because Abby is feeling quite vulnerable, the two end up fighting. Their fight, however, is cut short as Jo appears looking really rattled. Her perfect daughter Zoey has been arrested for shoplifting.

Later at home, when things have settled down with Zoey, Jo realizes there could be a bigger problem. As her daughter sleeps, she carefully checks her things and just as she suspected, the hamburger phone that has been missing is among Zoey’s stuff. Is this a cry for help from her daughter?

Meanwhile, Delia receives good news at work. Mr. Beech is back with the firm. Whatever she did to convince him has pleased her boss. She finds flowers and a diamond ring on her table, with a note that says it’s time for her to start a new story. Will she accept Beech’s proposal?

Jake visits Abby to make peace. He tells her that he gets what’s going on with her; he understands. He gives her the diamond necklace she badly wanted at the auction as a gift of gratitude. Their divorce will be finalized. But, Jake didn’t want it end with Abby thinking he never appreciated her for everything he has done for him.

That’s the recap for “Girlfriends’ Guide to Divorce” Season 1 Episode 12 “Rule #92: Don’t Do the Crime If You Can’t Do the Time” which aired on Tuesday, Feb. 17, 2015 at 9:00 p.m. on Bravo. Follow Movie News Guide (MNG) for more updates on this show.

Photo Source: Wikimedia Commons/Christopher Peterson