Girlfriends’ Guide to Divorce Recap: Rule #23: Never Lie to the Kids [WATCH VIDEO]
“Girlfriends’ Guide to Divorce” Season 1 Episode 1 “Rule #23: Never Lie to the Kids” aired on Tuesday, Dec. 2, 2014, at 9:00 p.m. on Bravo. Abby McCarthy, successful author of the book, “Girlfriends’ Guide to Getting Your Groove Back: How to Love Your Husband and Your Family without Losing Your Mind” was living a lie, and it was time to face the truth. Read on to find out what happened in the pilot episode of this series.
It was late at night and Abby (Lisa Edelstein) was watching herself on television. She was being interviewed in a talk show for her book. Her husband, Jake (Paul Adelstein), arrived and got in bed next to her. She muttered that he smelled of sex, and his only reply was to go screw herself.
In the morning, everything seemed normal as Abby and Jake tended to their kids — a teenage daughter and a young son. They had no clue that their parents were exchanging mean text messages as they ate breakfast and prepared for school.
This was Abby and Jake’s marriage. They were actually newly separated and have not been in good terms for the last five years. Jake only came home to pretend to the kids that he still lived there.
Abby brought her children to school and met her friend Phoebe (Beau Garrett). She remarked that it looked like everyone knew about the state of her marriage. She got the sympathy face from a few of the other parents.
Abby: Do you think people know?
Phoebe: What? About you and Jake splitting?
Later, Abby and Phoebe met their other friend Lyla (Janeane Garofalo). Phoebe and Lyla are both divorced, but the similarities ended there.
Phoebe is a model who still slept with her ex-husband so that she could still buy the things she wants. On the other hand, Lyla is a divorce lawyer who slept with her ex-husband once then had him drink alcohol so that she could report him to the police for DUI. It was her way of getting more custody of the kids.
At brunch, Phoebe told Abby that her ex-husband saw Jake with a young actress who’s on a CW show. Abby was hoping that the actress played one of the parents. It was, in fact, an up-and-coming star who was born in 1989, the year Abby and Jake graduated college.
Abby: I know he's been dating. And he has been rubbing my nose in it. But he's allowed. We're taking a break. We're taking a time out to explore what we want.
But dating this pretty young thing was not fine with Abby. Her friends encouraged her to send Jake a mean text, and she somehow called him a child molester.
To appease Abby, the women did retail therapy. Later, Phoebe suggested they should go to a club so Abby could meet guys. But she was not up for it, having not done the dating scene for many years. She also felt uncomfortable getting naked in front of a new man, especially with her boob situation. Having given birth to two kids, so she had “baby boobs.” Phoebe was kind enough to suggest a boob doctor and asked her friend to feel hers. Don’t they feel amazing?
Later, Abby met with her book agent (guest star Carrie Fisher) who asked to have her husband at the book signing at Barnes and Nobles. After all, the subject of her bestselling book was about her family. So she talked to Jake about this, but the two ended up arguing outside their son’s classroom.
Stressed, she called up Phoebe and decided that yes, maybe it’s time she should have fun, go to a club and meet guys.
Abby (to Phoebe): You win! Get me laid.
At the club, Abby met this young, really good-looking staff who saw to it that she had a great time dancing and drinking. She went home with him and had the most amazing sex at his place. Only, she screamed Jake’s name twice while being intimate with the bartender.
After what was like six orgasms, Abby had to rush home before the kids woke up. But when she got to her house, Jake was waiting by the dining room and accused her of being with the man she was emotionally involved with at one point. Back then, Abby was emailing some guy, which Jake discovered. It’s hinted that Abby has checked out of the marriage emotionally because she could not get the same connection from Jake anymore.
The two were fighting so loudly at 5:00 a.m. that they woke up their children. Their teenage daughter wasn’t naïve to her parents’ situation. She knew they were separated, and Jake has not been living with them. Jake had to finally tell the truth that they were getting a divorce.
It was Abby who didn’t want to tell people the truth about her marriage in order to protect the kids. But it turned out, their eldest child was aware, and this really hit her big time. She confided in her gay brother, Max. He told her that she should stop hanging out with her divorce friends as they seemed like bad influences.
But it was her divorced friends, Phoebe and Lyla, who kept it all together for her during the book signing at Barnes & Nobles. However, when it was time for Abby to talk about her book, she confessed — to an audience of women who hang on to her words — that while what she has written was true at the time she wrote the book, it’s not the case anymore today.
Abby: There were times when I would watch my husband sleeping and I would just think, “If you would just die, it would be so much easier.”
Her audience was stunned by what they heard from their favorite love and relationship author. Some were even pissed. Abby walked away feeling slightly embarrassed, but it looked like a huge weight was lifted off her shoulders. Lyla, however, thought that her career is screwed.
And that’s what happened in the pilot episode of “Girlfriends’ Guide to Divorce” Season 1 Episode 1 “Rule #23: Never Lie to the Kids,” which aired on Tuesday, Dec. 2, 2014, at 9:00 p.m. on Bravo. Did you enjoy the first episode? Tell us what you think about it in the comments.
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Photo Source: Wikimedia Commons/Christopher Peterson