Girlfriends Guide to Divorce Recap: Rule No. 21: Leave Childishness to Children
“Girlfriends’ Guide to Divorce” Season 1 Episode 5 “Rule No. 21: Leave Childishness to Children” aired on Tuesday, Dec. 30, 2014, at 9:00 p.m. on Bravo. As the divorce takes its toll on Abby and Jake, their eldest daughter tells them to stop acting like children. Meanwhile, Phoebe learned that three is definitely a crowd, and Lyla continues her downward spiral. Find out what happened in this episode in the recap below.
Abby runs into an old friend at the convenience store. Remember Will (guest star Warren Christie), her one night stand from the first episode (“Rule #23: Never Lie to the Kids” air date: Dec. 2, 2014)? They apparently pick up where they left off, as she agrees to go out with him that night.
But there’s a problem. Her main issue with this guy is that he’s only 28 years old, almost half her age. But then, age shouldn’t matter when it comes to relationships, right? So perhaps Abby could try to not let this get in the way. After all, her soon-to-be ex-husband Jake (Paul Adelstein) is dating a young woman, and he’s parading her around town. Abby’s girlfriends pointed this fact out while having their usual coffee meet-ups.
Meanwhile, Lyla (Janeane Garofalo) tells them that her mother would be coming over to help her with the case worker who is going to oversee her living situation. This is for her custody battle with her ex. Phoebe (Beau Garrett), on the other hand, reveals to them that she’s in a polyamorous relationship with Vika and Marete, the European couple. She’s in a relationship, but there’s none of that drama and commitment. It’s all for fun.
Phoebe: The part of the relationship that sucks, I don’t have to deal with it. Because they have each other for that! I’m with them, but I’m not obligated to them. Do you understand what I’m saying?
Back at Lyla’s office, she gets “the talk” from her boss who advises her that she could take a leave of absence to get some perspective and de-stress. There have been many complaints about her; the divorce has really been rocking her core. Lyla heeds to her boss’ advice despite some protests and justification that she's not the problem. It’s the rest of the world that sucks.
When she comes home, she sees that her mom Annie (guest star Bernadette Peters) has dressed herself and the boys in Japanese costumes, as they were going to have a Japanese-themed dinner with the case worker. Lyla flips. Why can’t her mom just prepare a regular dinner? Worse, when the case worker arrives, she’s actually of Japanese heritage, so it appears like Lyla and her family is mocking her. Even worse, they learn that the case worker has celiac disease and can’t eat anything with gluten. There goes the maki! This meeting is turning out really bad for Lyla.
Meanwhile, Abby is tagging the furniture and other items at their house with Jake, dividing the stuff between them for the divorce. Pink sticky notes are for items assigned to Abby while Jake has the blue sticky notes. Their daughter Lily (Conner Dwelly) sees this and insists that the smelly chair stays where it should be. She places a blue sticky note on her head, declaring that she’s her dad’s property for the weekend.
Before they leave, Abby reminds Jake that Lily is pushing their buttons as a way of rebelling against their divorce. They have to be a firm and united front when it comes to disciplining their kids. Jake knows all that and tells Abby it is her weekend off to be a parent. He’s got this handled.
That night, Abby drops by Phoebe’s art opening and meets up with Delia (Necar Zadegan). They also meet Phoebe’s significant others. She tells the two women about how this whole three-way relationship actually works out for them, particularly when it comes to sex. It’s all TMI (too much information), but then Abby sees that Phoebe is happy, which is all that matters.
At Jake’s apartment, Abby’s ex gets the shock of his life when he discovers their daughter is not actually in her room. He’s frantic; he’s calling everyone he knows from Lily’s classmates, while his girlfriend Becca (Julianna Guill) helps figure out Lily’s social media accounts to find out where the teenager ran off to. Abby, on the other hand, is oblivious that her daughter is missing. She’s at the club with Will, and she is having quite a night. She just had a run-in with one of his ex-girlfriends, and she’s all fired-up.
As Abby is exchanging tongues with Will at the bar, she spots her daughter making out with her boyfriend on the dance floor. This makes Abby mad for many reasons. First, she didn’t know Lily has a boyfriend. Second, her daughter is underage, and she’s in a bar. Third, her daughter took off while under the watch and care of her dad.
She orders her daughter out of the club and drives her back to Jake’s, with Will in tow. The ex-couple argues, mostly because Jake didn’t tell Abby the minute Lily snuck out. But then, Jake sees that Abby is with a young man, which led them to argue some more about who’s being more upfront. Lily overhears them and shouts at her parents.
Jake: This whole time you’ve been up my ass about how old Becca is, and then you show up with that (pointing to Will).
Abby: Grow up, Jake!
Jake: You grow up!
Lily: Shut up! Shut up, what’s wrong with you? You’re both acting like — How come I’m the only one acting my age? You make me sick!
This leaves Abby and Jake stunned.
Back at her house, Abby concedes, telling Will that this relationship will not go anywhere. It’s not just the age thing. She really needs to work on herself before she can be in a relationship with anyone. Will understands but tells Abby she can give him a call when she’s “grown up.” This made Abby smile at least.
Meanwhile, as the caseworker has already left Lyla’s house, she calls out her mom for making her look like a total idiot. They argue a bit, with Lyla claiming that her mother is too much of an optimist. But it surprised her when Annie tells her she just had her sad times. She cried over her grandfather dying three months ago. Wait, what? Lyla didn’t know about this! Annie tells her she's been too preoccupied with the crumbling of her marriage, so she wasn’t told about his death. She also wasn’t told about how Annie has had back surgery, or that she’s been shoplifting at stores for clothes. Lyla has been really overwhelmed by her divorce that she’s so out of touch with the rest, hasn’t she?
Phoebe, on the other hand, didn’t have a great night as well because as it turns out, the European couple didn’t want their relationship to be just for fun. They propose to Phoebe by giving her an engagement necklace. This means that they will also rely on her for taking care of the kids and other relationship problems. They’re in this together now. Unfortunately, Phoebe didn’t want any of that, and so the next morning, she quietly walks out on Vika and Marete, leaving the necklace by the bedside table.
That same morning, Abby makes her apology to Lily, telling her that they really suck at being parents right now. Then she receives a text message from her editor about the new, emerging author Cleo Stevens who calls out Abby’s meltdown on national television. She's basically dissing her and her books.
But Abby is challenged. Cleo has made the wrong move calling out a good woman who’s already down. Abby is ready to fight back.
So there you have it for the recap on “Girlfriends’ Guide to Divorce” Season 1 Episode 5 “Rule No. 21: Leave Childishness to Children,” which aired on Tuesday, Dec. 30, 2014, at 9:00 p.m. on Bravo. You can watch the whole episode in the video from the show's official site on YouTube.
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Photo Source: Wikimedia Commons/Christopher Peterson