If your ears have been assaulted by songs that have annoyed the hell out of you this year, you’re not alone. Vent with us while going through this compilation of 2014 music that made our teeth itch. Here’s our list, in no particular order:
- “I’m a Freak” by Enrique Iglesias feat. Pitbull – why oh why is Enrique Iglesias, with his beautiful crooner’s voice, trying to reinvent himself as an autotune idiot? Even the song is an inane repetition of how much he loves partying, how addicted he is to women’s chemicals and how much of an animal he is in bed. Even the music video looks like a homemade mobile phone clip shot by a stoned amateur documenting a spring break house party where they hired hookers.
- “L.A. Love” by Fergie feat. YG – this Black-Eyed Pea is a tour guide now. In between “la-la-la’s” she lists down countries and cities where she and her psychedelically decked out tour bus full of dancing women jiggling huge butts are riding to. The tune isn’t even that catchy.
- “Summer” by Calvin Harris – why someone would want to sing about a season before it even arrives is way beyond us. Jangling electric guitar noises in the background and blah lyrics only make it worse.
- “Wiggle” by Jason DeRulo feat. Snoop Dog – to underline the current big booty trend, here’s a song with the worst lyrics ever: “Your booty like two planets. Go head, and go ham sandwich.” Does that make any sense at all?
- “All About That Bass” by Meghan Trainor – another senseless booty song. Yes, we get it. Big booty is in demand.
- “Bang Bang” by Nicki Minaj, Jessie J. and Ariana Grande – how many times can you repeat a single word in a song (“Bang bang”) to make people want to bang their head against the wall?
- “Hello Kitty” by Avril Lavigne – What’s with the screechy vocals promoting infidelity and how much she loves it? Might it be a reflection of a real-life proclivity? She just destroyed the way we look at one of Sanrio’s beloved characters. Thanks, Sk8tr Grl.
- “Timber” by Pitbull feat. Ke$sha – Pitbull and Ke$sha are so misplaced in the country music genre. They seem like a punk rock concert in Amish territory. Lots of square dancing babes in a bar. Scenes shot on a beach and on a boat surrounded by sharks. We’re confused by the incongruity. At least Ke$sha looks like she’s been working out.
- “Selfie” by The Chainsmokers – this song just cashed in on the most overused word of the year, thanks to millions of self-absorbed social media junkies. Got dumped? Take a selfie. Clanging synthetic beat? Take a selfie. Made it to our worst song list? Take a selfie.
- “Fireball” by Pitbull – this is his second offense on our list. We absolutely cannot take the grunting noises interspersed with a list of cities he’s seen, come to and conquered. Are he and Fergie comparing notes?
If you’re not gritting your teeth yet, here’s a video of “Selfie” to get you in the mood for murder:
That’s our take on the 10 worst songs of 2014. What’s on your hit list? For more entertainment updates, stay tuned on Movie News Guide (MNG).
Photo Source: Wikimedia Commons/Eva Rinaldi