With ‘The Comedy Central Roast of Justin Bieber’ now over and done, everyone is talking as to which joke had them laughing off their seats or hearing crickets in the background! So, why not jot them down?
Listed down below are the top five pleasant and unpleasant (read nasty) jokes made at the Comedy Central Justin Bieber roast. Though I caution you, readers, these are definitely no ordinary jokes.
Top Five Pleasant/Best Jokes
- Shaquille O’Neal: “Justin, as a father of six, you have to straighten up, son. Last year, you were ranked the fifth most hated person of all time. Kim Jong-Un didn’t rank that low. And he uses your music to torture people.”
- Martha Stewart: “You need to settle down, bring some balance into [your] life and find a nice gal. Someone on your level, someone powerful and rich, someone you can smoke with, have a three-way with, someone who’s a player in the boardroom and a freak in the bedroom. My final piece of advice is, call me!”
- Justin Bieber: “What do you get when you give a teenager two hundred million dollars? A bunch of has-beens calling you a lesbian for two hours.”
- Jeff Ross: “You haven’t put out an album [in] 3 years! If you listen closely, you can hear the sound of One Direction f–king your fans. Beliebers are mad you haven’t won a Grammy. There’s Martha Stewart – she can be your Grammy.”
- Ludacris: “You’re not tough, Justin. I’m here to let you know, man. I know you’ve been on Ellen 14 times. You act so much like a pussy on the show, Ellen tried to eat you.”
Top Five Unpleasant/Worst Jokes
- Natasha Legerro: “Your fans are called ‘Beliebers’ because it’s politically incorrect to use the term ‘retards’.”
- Kevin Hart: (referring to Bieber’s latest rumoured girl Kendall Jenner) “If you’re going to be with a Jenner, we thought you would be with Bruce!”
- Jeff Ross: “Selena Gomez had sex with you, proving Mexicans will do the most disgusting jobs Americans just won’t do.”
- Jeff Ross: “I know you’ll never end up like Kurt Cobain or Amy Winehouse — respected.”
- Snoop Dog: “You release so many horrible videos; you should change your name to Vanilla ISIS.”
Putting aside all the good and bad jokes, it’s good that Justin Bieber was enlightened of everything he’s done all this time. He showed this when he apologized for his actions and even promised not to line up and roast somebody in the future. Hopefully, we’d get to hear more of his good side from now on.
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Photo source: Wikimedia Commons/Joe Bielawa/tm